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The Baby Train…

June 22, 2011

Wow.

Apparently being close to the big 3-0 places me in a social circle that is expanding – by babies that it!  It’s almost as if my friends have been drinking some über fertile water and hoping on the adventure to parenthood!  I swear I have more friends that are pregnant or new moms that friends who aren’t.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s not a bad thing at all.  I love getting cuddles from babies – especially ones that are well – and I feel confident in my babysitting abilities as a pediatric nurse and all…But there is a part of me that feels a little bit like I’m the last person to grow up in my crew of friends.  Which is weird because I know I personally am no ready to be a mother (not that you can ever really be).

I guess I just don’t want to feel like an outsider.  Like I don’t fit in.  I mean, I’ve got a dog.  I take care of sick babies.  That’s my only frame of reference to contribute to conversation with parents.  Sometimes people are polite and let me join in to conversations.  Other times, I just feel like I don’t belong talking to them.

It’s like there is a palpable, but invisible, line that is drawn between parents and non-parents.  Just like the line between singles and marrieds.  I hate the latter line, and I’m beginning to feel uneasy about the second.

Guess it’s just one of those growing pains…

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A simple task complicated

March 6, 2011

Recently, though I can’t remember why, I decided to reset my iPod so I could reorganize my music.  I have entirely too much music on my iTunes to successfully managed to “sync” my iPod.  I’ve got a classic 30 gig, so not enough room.  Syncing only allows me to get half of my music.  Plus, If I did use that option I’d probably would end up with all of M’s collection of Alexis on Fire instead of my beloved upbeat music.

So, I intentionally select “manual” for setting up my songs.  Not a bad thing, really.  However, it seems that this whole process has decided to wreak some havoc on some of my OCD type tendencies.  You see, whenever I drag over a large list of songs, for reasons unknown, the artwork does not copy over accordingly.  The artwork section simply remains blank for half the albums!  This is unacceptable, as I just like to see the picture by the music playing on the screen of my iPod whenever possible.  Really, is that too much to ask?

Being plucky and resourceful, I determinedly set out to find a work-around to solve this issue.  I simply copy the artwork over to my iPod.  Easy enough, right?  Wrong.  It has turned out to be an incredibly painstaking adventure.  Whenever I copy the artwork it takes a good 30 seconds to copy over, jamming the screen.  So for each album, I must wait.  This adds up quickly.  To add only the “M” section of my albums took almost 2 hrs.  But I can’t stop!  I must finish because I’ve got to make it work!

AHHH!!!  The pressure!!!!

I really wish I could give up, but as I reach the “R” grouping I feel an end is in sight…

Now which Radiohead albums do I add???

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Historical dramaqueening – Mary Ann Cotton

January 28, 2011

It’s been a while since I’ve blogged in general, but rather than write about something banal, I’ve chosen to once again take up some of my history lessons.  I know I always find it interesting to learn about the past, and I’m hoping you out there do as well.  This installation is about an English serial killer and “black widow” Mary Ann Cotton.

Mary Ann Cotton

Mary Ann Robson was born in a poor mining village called Low Moorsely in Sunderland, England in October 1932.  Her father was a strict disciplinarian and was fiercely religious.  When Mary Ann was 8, her parents moved the town of Murton in Durham County.  Shortly after the move, Mary Ann’s father died after falling down a mining shaft at Murton Colliery.  In 19th century England, losing a father and a source of income for a poor family was detrimental.  Mary Ann was now at risk of being separated from her mother and brother to be sent to a workhouse.  Luckily, Mary Anne was spared this fate when her mother  remarried when Mary Ann was 14 years old.

Mary Anne did not like her stepfather, Robert Stott, but did like the things his better wages could afford.  At the age of 16, when Mary Anne decided she could no longer stand Stott’s discipline, she moved out to find a job as a nursemaid for an aging coal mine manager, Edward Potter, in the nearby village of South Hetton.  After three years of work, Mary Ann returned to her mother’s home and trained as a dressmaker.  Before long, Mary Ann met a local colliery worker named William Mowbray.

On July 18, 1852 at the age of 20, Mary Ann married William Mowbray in Newcastle-on-Tyne.  Shortly after, the couple moved to Cornwall where William worked as a nanny and Mary Anne devoted herself to producing 5 children.  Of these children, four sons died in infancy as victims of  what was presumed to be “gastric fever”.  William and Marry Ann moved back to Durham where they had, and lost, three more children to the same gastric fever.  At the time William was worked as a foreman at the South Hetton Colliery.  In 1864, the couple moved to Herndon where William accepted a position as a fireman on a steamship.  His life was then insured  by the British and Prudential Insurance office.  In January 1865, shortly after William was injured on the job and laid off, he unexpectedly died of an intestinal ailment that was suspiciously similar to the gastric fever that ailed his deceased children.  Mary Ann collected at payout of £35 from the insurance company, equivalent to about half a year’s wages for a manual labourer at the time.

Shortly after William Mowbray’s death, Mary Ann moved to Seaham Harbour, County Durham where she struck up a relationship with a man named Joseph Nattrass.  Unfortunately, her lover was engaged to another woman and Mary Ann left Seaham shortly after Nattrass’ wedding.  During this time, Mary Ann’s 3½ year old daughter died of gastric fever, leaving Mary Ann with one remaining living child of the 9 she had borne by this time.  She sent this remaining child, Isabella, to live with her Grandmother Robson-Stott.

In order to support herself, Mary Ann returned to Sunderland and took up a position as a nurse in the Sunderland Infirmary, House of Recovery for the Cure of Contagious Fever, Dispensary and Humane Society.  One of her patients at the infirmary was an engineer named George Ward.  They married in Monkwearmouth in August 1865.  When George lost his job as an engineer, he began to suffer from ill health characterized by vomiting and diarrhea.  In October 1966, George succumbed to his illness.  The doctor later gave evidence that although Ward had been ill for a long time, he death was rather sudden.   Once again, Mary Ann collected the insurance money from her husband’s death.

Within weeks of her husband’s death, the widow Ward took up a position for a widower shipwright, James Robinson, at Pallion, Sunderland.  One month later, Robinson’s infant died of gastric fever.  In his grief, James turned to Mary Ann for comfort and she soon became pregnant.  In March of 1867, Mary Ann’s mother became ill, so she returned to Seaham Harbour to take care of her.  Although her health initial began to improve, Mary Ann’s mother started to experience stomach pains.  She died at age 54, nine days after Mary’s arrival.

Mary Ann returned to the Robinson household, her daughter Isabella (from her marriage to William Mowbray) in tow.  Shortly after her arrival, Isabella developed bad stomach pains and died.  Another two of James’ children quickly followed and all three children were buried within the last 2 weeks of April in 1867.   Four months later, James and Mary Ann were married.  Their daughter Mary Isabella was born in November, but died in March of 1868 of familiar stomach issues.

Meanwhile, James had become suspicious of his wife’s insistence of that he insure his life and of the high mortality rate in his household.  James discovered that Mary Ann had run up debts of over £60 pounds without him knowing, and had stolen £50 from him that she was supposed to have banked.  Finally, after discovering that Mary Ann had forced his children to pawn valuable household items, he threw her out.  James Robinson is to be considered lucky, as he narrowly avoided an early grave.  As it was, Mary Ann helped herself to his savings and fled.

Desperate and living on the streets, Mary Ann fled to Walbottle, Northumberland.  Here her friend Margaret Cotton introduced Mary Ann to her brother Fredrick Cotton, a pitman and widower who had lost two of his four children.  Margaret Cotton had been acting as a surrogate mother to her nephews Fredrick Jr. and Charles.  However, in late 1870, Margaret died of an undetermined stomach ailment, leaving Mary Ann to comfort the grieving father.  Soon Mary Ann fell pregnant.

Although she was still married to James Robinson, Mary Ann married Fredrick Cotton Sr. in September 1870.   Their son Robert was born six months later in early 1871.  Soon after, Mary Ann learned that her former lover, Joseph Nattrass, was leaving in the nearby village of West Auckland and no longer married.  She decided to rekindle their relationship and persuaded her new family to move closer to him.  In Decemer 1871, Fredrick Cotton Sr. died of gastric fever.  His live and the life of his sons had been insured.

After Fredrick Sr. died, Joseph Nattrass became a lodger in the home Mary Ann shared with the three remaining children.  However, Mary Ann had her eyes set on someone new.  She had become nurse to John Quick-Manning, a customs officer recovering from smallpox.  The two struck up an affair, and Mary Ann fell pregnant with her twelfth child.  In March 1872, the  fully insured Fredrick Cotton Jr.  and Mary Ann’s infant son Robert died.  Shortly after, Joseph Nattrass fell ill with gastric fever and died.  Conveniently, he had just changed his will in Mary Ann’s favour.

The insurance policy for Charles Edward Cotton still remained for collection, and he was now the only barrier between Mary Ann and John Quick-Manning.  However, he would lead to her downfall.  Mary Ann tried to have him sent to live with one his uncles but was refused.  Then when asked to nurse a woman ill with smallpox by the parish official, Thomas Riley, Mary Ann asked if Charles might be sent to the workhouse.  When Mary Ann was told she would have to accompany him, she replied saying he was sickly and would soon “go like the rest of the Cottons”.  Riley was shocked when five days later the seemingly healthy Charles died.   Riley went to the police and an inquest was held.  He requested that the death certificate be delayed until the inquest was over, dashing Mary Ann’s ability to claim the insurance money.  The jury returned with a verdict of that Charles dided natural causes and Mary Ann protested that Riley made the accusations after she rejected his advances.

However, the local newspapers soon discovered that Mary Ann had moved all over northern England, losing three husbands, a friend, her mother, and a dozen children to ‘stomach fevers’ along the way.  This was the first time that a connection was made. Rumour turned into suspicion and forensic inquiry.  The doctor to had performed Charles’ autopsy has kept tissue samples that tested positive for arsenic.  Mary Ann was charged with murder, but the trial was postponed until after she had given birth to her final child in January 1863.

Mary Ann Cotton’s trial began on Wednesday, 5 March 1873.  During the trial, the defense argued that Charles Charles died from inhaling arsenic used as a dye in the green wallpaper of the Cotton home.  However, the level of death that followed Mary Ann in her past could not be ignored.  The jury deliberated only 90 minutes before returning with a guilty verdict.  Mary Ann was hanged at Durham County gaol on 24 March, 1873, and died a slow choking death, as the hangman used to apply the older “short drop” technique for executions.

References:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mary_Ann_Cotton

http://www.users.on.net/~bundy23/wwom/cotton.htm

http://writingwomenshistory.blogspot.com/2010/08/mary-ann-cotton-black-widow-poisoner.html

http://murderrevisited.blogspot.com/2009/05/mary-ann-cotton.html

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The end of a season

June 19, 2010

It’s 5 am and I’m about 2 hours away from finishing my last consolidation nursing shift of my (second) undergraduate career.  It’s exciting, promising, frightening, and sad all balled in to one!

It seems like such a long time ago, yet such a short time ago, that I decided to embark on a new nursing adventure.  I can definitely say it was a excellent choice – I’ve never felt more fufilled when it comes to finding something I can do, and do well.  In many ways I channel my mum and grandma, and I think that adds to how awesome this nursing biz feels to me. 

At the same time, it’s been tough slugging at times.  I’ve been stressed, annoyed, broken down, and mixed up.  I haven’t had a time in my marriage yet when I haven’t been working on school work.  It’s going to make a big difference.  And not having a job lined up yet, when many of my fellow classmates do, is really scary. Worst part, I desperately want to work with the paediatric population and it’s a competitive line of work…We’ll have to keep our fingers crossed…

At the very least, right now, in my tired state, I can tell you I am glad to be almost done.  Huzzah!  Now on to the next step!

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Despising the “Mucous Monster”

January 3, 2010

One of my belated Christmas gift this year, was a lovely chest cold.  You know them.  They’re the really lovely cold that make it feel like a small hippopotamus is sitting on your upper chest and squeezing your lungs.  It’s also the cold that bring on the invasion of the “Mucous Monster”.  This nasty little creature add to the tightness and causes you to feel like you’re donating a lung everyday because you can stop the hacking cough!  You start to lose your voice, and you can feel the monster sitting on your vocal chords. If you’re really lucky, when you cough, you’ll get the taste of hard, icky sputum on your back taste buds.  But it’s just a tease, no matter how much it feels like you’re going to throw up with the force of the coughing, you can’t bring the special nugget of mucous forward to join the spittoon contest just yet.  Then, when you’ve gladly moved on to nicer times (ie. cough free times), you all of a sudden feel the urge to clear your throat, and LO! AND BEHOLD! the mucous loosens and you have to drop everything, run to the sink, toilet, or whatever and expel the offending “mini monster” post haste.

If this lovely dance isn’t enough, you must also build up a arsenal of cough mixtures to fight the “Mucous Monster”.  My personal artillery consisted of Buckley’s and Benylin Mucous and Phlegm.  No amount of training could have prepared me for the taste!  Both are equally piquant, in unique ways.  The Buckley’s make me feel like I have finally given in to irrational thought and have decided to drink a mixture of bleaching hair dye, Vick’s VapoRub, and tree sap.  The Benylin is more like swilling down a variation of Varasol and cherry Koolaid, that just seems to tweak your stomach just a little.  Worst of all, I cannot attack the monster with both at the same time.  It is either my sword or my shield that can be wheeled at any given time.  The Buckley’s shield suppressed the cough, and the Benylin sword attacks the mucous.  And I am stuck using one or the other, or neither, and somehow never thwarting the Monster!

Thus has been my struggle for the last seven days.  It has caused me many a rough, sleep-deprived night and many a cranky day, exacerbated by a non-stop scheduling and the persistent feeling that I’ve swallowed sandpaper.  But hear this “Mucous Monster”.  One day my body will be victorious!  You will be expectorated in a radical fashion!  You shall no longer live victoriously in the annals of my respiratory tract, and you will be gone until we take up the fight in the next cold season.  BE GONE FORTHWITH VILE ABOMINATION, I BID THEE GONE!

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Winding down 2009

December 22, 2009

Since doing my Dare in October, life seems to have moved pretty fast.  November was a blur of midterms, final projects, and clinical days.  Not to mention kick-ass floor hockey games.  Before I knew it, it was December and I was wrapping up clinical at SickKids, doing SIM lab demos, and preparing to write my final exams.   Now, the school work is over, and I have time to breathe again.  In other words, I have a life again (but only until January 4th).

Since finishing up my exams last Wednesday, I’ve been cramming my days full of things I’ve been meaning to do for ages and I’ve been picking up work shifts.  First item on the agenda: CLEANING THE HOUSE!!  The dust bunnies have been staring me down and I promised myself to wait until after exams to clean.  I was itching to get going, and I knew once I started, there was no going back.  So last weekend, M and I cleaned every surface in the apartment and took the time to purge some stuff that really needed to be disposed of.  Once that was all taken care of, we celebrated our good work with decorating for Christmas!

Really, there is nothing I love more than having a house full of Christmas lights, and spreading a little cheer with cute angels, snowmen, and penguins with Christmas hats.  It makes me remember happy things, and it’s a way of celebrating the amazing event that is Christmas.  I know it may seem like I’m just giving in to the commercial side with my types of decorations, but my heart knows that what I’m really feeling is the joy of the season that comes from knowing that the peace of Christ came to earth for all of us.  Such an amazing gift! 

I guess now that I have time to think about the season, I really need to ensure that I enfuse the power of the gift of life Jesus brought to us in everything I do for Christmas.  The cookies I make should be made with love, because Christ showed us the meaning of loving others.  The Christmas lights should be reminders of the light of Jesus, brought to those who sat in darkness, a light that changes everything!  The decorations should be ways of praising the Prince of Peace!  Everything should exude peace, love, joy, and hope.

That is my Christmas wish as we wind down 2009.  Praise to the Lord, Christ has come, Hallelujah!

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Dare run blog – Day nine

October 25, 2009

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Fundraising goal: 102% ($925)
Time of day: 3:59 pm
Run time: 36 minutes
Weather: 12°C
Overall feeling: The last one!

So, it’s done.  My dare is finally finished.  I just completed my last run with M – he did really well considering that he already did 40 km on his bike this afternoon.  The weather was lovely, and I got a good respite from my paper writing (yes, it’s STILL not done, but at least I have something on paper).

Reflecting back on the last few days, I can’t believe what I’ve done.  I knew I had something in me, but I didn’t know I could push myself to do all those runs (especially because I don’t always enjoy running).  But I think I’ve found myself a good groove now.  I’ll just have to find another awesome cause to run for next! :)

I hope you’ve all enjoyed reading my daily updates.  I can’t thank you enough for supporting me!  Lots of love!

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